…continued from Day 22…
In order to learn something from our outbursts, we need to be willing to rigorously examine ourselves in the aftermath. If we assume we were in the right and the other person was in the wrong, there is nothing to be gained. In (almost) any fight, both parties are wrong, though to varying degrees. One party may have more stuff to own than the other, but this does not mean the person with less has permission to avoid self-examination.
We ask ourselves, “Where did I go wrong?” “In what ways did I contribute to the mess?” In other words, we start with the assumption that we did contribute and then work our way backwards towards the truth.
If we begin with the assumption that we weren’t wrong and did not contribute to the mess, we will struggle to find evidence to the contrary.