I have a friend who is struggling in his marriage. He has tried counseling, fighting, moving out and back in, manipulation, threats and now is in the throes of defeat. He just doesn’t see a way through this issue to a healthy marriage. Thomas Edison is quoted as saying, “Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” I love that quote. But I feel it necessary to add a bit of a spin on it.
We all know that family crises knock us for a loop, often revealing cracks in the family system’s foundation. If my friends hadn’t lost a child in a terrible accident, perhaps their marriage would have chugged along for another thirty years. But the grief exacerbated and revealed all the marital weaknesses and when the divorce finally happened, it felt like a relief.
So I don’t want you, dear reader, hearing me say that if we just try harder, all things will work out! Success will be at hand! If I talked like that I could be a televangelist making big bucks and driving a red Porsche.
The truth is, and this is very challenging to say much less hear…the truth is, sometimes even our best efforts don’t grant us the desired outcome. However, and this is a big point so don’t doze off now!! However….folks, we need to try.
We need to try because that’s what decent people do. Tomorrow, I’ll talk about what we can work on to increase our “doing” potential and maybe even improve our chances for making changes.