Step 5: Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
9 But you aren’t self-centered. Instead you are in the Spirit, if in fact God’s Spirit lives in you. If anyone doesn’t have the Spirit of Christ, they don’t belong to him. 10 If Christ is in you, the Spirit is your life because of God’s righteousness, but the body is dead because of sin. 11 If the Spirit of the one who raised Jesus from the dead lives in you, the one who raised Christ from the dead will give life to your human bodies also, through his Spirit that lives in you.
12 So then, brothers and sisters, we have an obligation, but it isn’t an obligation to ourselves to live our lives on the basis of selfishness. Romans 8:9-12, CEB
From yesterday: Who do you practice step 5 with?
Being invested in others is one of the key things that draws us out of our own selfish inclinations. This only really works if we are truly invested and willing to share the deepest, darkest parts of ourselves. If we’re not doing that then we’re not truly invested and remain rooted in selfish tendencies.
Not every relationship has to reach the level of true “investment”. This is a special relationship reserved for those who a. share our way of seeing and b. are safe people to share difficult truths with. If a person is not both “a” and “b” then it’s perfectly fine to have a more superficial relationship with them. In some cases they can be really fun people to hang out with. In other cases, the opposite.
Either way, the discipline of step 5 is not something to practice with everyone. It’s a special practice reserved for special relationships. But we need it. Otherwise we remain people who continue to participate in the cycle of harm.