Step 5: Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
12 Therefore, you should treat people in the same way that you want people to treat you; this is the Law and the Prophets. Matthew 7:12, CEB
From yesterday: Next time you are hurting because of something that someone has done, consider why. Why is it that their behavior helped create pain in you? If you can identify this, then you are one step closer to living without hypocrisy.
We can’t avoid hypocrisy unless we know what causes us pain. Once we know what causes us pain, we can then take the extra step of asking the question, “Do I do this?” And then, “How can I avoid doing this?”
Part of why we keep getting harmed in relationships is because we aren’t aware of how similar our behaviors can be to those of people who harmed us. The only way to get a handle on this problem is to have someone to whom we are regularly opening up. We tell this person our relational failures as well as our relational successes. This person (or these people) learns our patterns and the patterns of those around us and can give us feedback and clarity on our life and the way it relates to our expectations of what life should be like.
In other words, step 5 is a key part of putting an end to the cycle of harm-received leading to harm-caused. We don’t have to call this “step 5” and we don’t even have to call it “confession”. What we call it doesn’t matter. What matters is inviting someone into our process, into our cycle.
Who do you practice step 5 with?