Step 5: Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
19 “This is the basis for judgment: The light came into the world, and people loved darkness more than the light, for their actions are evil. 20 All who do wicked things hate the light and don’t come to the light for fear that their actions will be exposed to the light. John 3:19-20, CEB
From yesterday: The shame that tells us we must perform for God to love us is wrong. We need to realize that it is not us who are wrong, it is the lie that shame is telling us. Once we’re aware of this truth we gain the capacity to choose how we are going to respond to it.
There is good news and bad news that comes from learning that our shame is based upon lie. The good news is we gain the awareness that another way of living and being is possible. The bad news is, we must learn to take responsibility for stopping the cycle of responding to the shame. This is never easy to do.
The voice of shame is strong. We may even believe it is the voice of our subconscious. Sometimes we may think we’re hearing God’s voice when we’re really hearing the voice of shame. Therefore, we really struggle to resist it since we believe we are either hearing from our “true” selves or from God himself.
This is the beauty of having other people around us that can be speak back into all of our crazy. Because, let’s be honest, the voice of shame is, more often than not, just the voice of our crazy. We need people around us who can confront our false beliefs. People who can recognize when we’re performing, rather than simply living, and tell us to stop.
The responsibility we have for stopping the cycle of shame rests partly on us and partly on those around us. But, when we have no one around us, then the responsibility is entirely ours because nobody knows us well enough to help us understand the difference between truths and lies. We don’t want to be here. The voice of shame is strong. Too strong to resist on our own.