Step 5: Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
19 “This is the basis for judgment: The light came into the world, and people loved darkness more than the light, for their actions are evil. 20 All who do wicked things hate the light and don’t come to the light for fear that their actions will be exposed to the light. John 3:19-20, CEB
From yesterday: Living in shame means we believe something that is patently untrue: that God needs our performance in order to love us when, in reality, God’s love has always gone first. If our core belief is a lie then we are in trouble because we are living in accordance with truth (or “light”). When our core belief tells us we need to perform, and then we live in shame, we are hiding in darkness and refusing the gift of life that God offers.
Let’s be clear about something. This is not an easy thing to speak back into. Nobody really desires to live in shame (at least on a conscious level). Living in shame is clearly not a desirable thing. Many (or most, or all) of us would love to be free of shame. It’s easy to say that living in shame means that we’re believing a lie…but if “living in shame” is out of our control, then why bother saying anything at all?
It’s very difficult to challenge and/or change core beliefs. When we believe that we must be right enough or good enough in order to be accepted and loved at a core level then we can’t simply think our way out of that belief. However, we must start somewhere.
We’re choosing to start the process with awareness of the problem. It always begins with awareness. If we don’t know we have a problem, we cannot address the problem. The shame that tells us that we need to perform in order for God to love us is not serving us well and it isn’t true. This is step one. More tomorrow.