Day 1

I’ve taken a month to focus on the fourth step, but the principles are so much broader than that!  I hope these suggestions might be helpful as an encouragement for anyone who is interested in transformation and spiritual work.  Today and tomorrow, I’ll review them just in case a month of reading was just too much!


  1. Write as best you can a list of your strengths (aware that some of those traits may also show up as defects later on in the process).


  1. Become more discerning about who we ask to help unpack our baggage. We need wise and supportive counsel when we undertake this journey.

2.a. This means fact checking our understanding of God and

2.b. Make sure the folks who help us are reliable narrators, capable of holding our whole inventory in their heart without blame, shame or condemnation.


  1. It is sometimes true that in trying to actually work a fourth step we realize we have to circle back and relook at the first three steps.  If the fourth feels too daunting, chances are there is something that needs to be learned in the first three steps before proceeding. I believe we can only complete a fourth step if we have the framework of the first three steps under our belts.


  1.  Write as best you can a list of your fears, frustrations, resentments, anxieties and sexual history.


  1.  Nutrition, exercise, playtime, quiet time and more are essential elements to try to have in place to bolster your health as you undertake what may be a stressful practice. We may need to try new things – like getting a personal trainer or visiting a good therapist or maybe even learning how to knit – to help us break through anxiety that keeps us stuck.


  1.  While working on rigorous honesty, take breaks to relax.  Distract yourself (for a reasonable amount of time – don’t indulge to excess) so that when you return to the work, you are fresh and able to see with a fresh set of eyes old truths and new perspectives.

7.   Each of us has things we like to remember (fixate on) and other things we are inclined to forget (you know what I mean).  It’s super important to bring up your thinking about life, not just the compulsive ways you have thought about it historically.


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