From yesterday: We survive through scapegoating. We identify a problem child in our midst and the group rallies around the expulsion of that person. In other words, we find a collective, shared identity when we work together to kick someone out of the group. This gives us a false sense of closeness. It gives us the illusion of bonding. Once a person is kicked out, we all breathe a deep sigh of relief. We feel peaceful, for a time.
So, what do we do about this? What can we do? How do we avoid being the types of people who are content to conspire in order to experience peace?
One piece of this puzzle is awareness of the problem. When we know about the Scapegoat Mechanism we can certainly try to spot it when it’s happening and, thus, avoid it. But, this is only a piece of the puzzle. Why? Because we’ll never be able to spot it if we can’t first see ourselves as the kinds of people who are capable of conspiring. If we think, “I’m just not the type of person who would solve a problem by isolating another person,” then it will be very hard indeed for us to recognize when we are doing this. In other words, we’re all capable of this and we all do this but we will never spot it until we see ourselves as part of the problem.
Today I ask you to consider: Am I part of the problem? Do I contribute to the conflict in my life?
Do you ever blame others as a way of avoiding taking responsibility for your side of the street?