Better to be poor and walk in innocence
than to have dishonest lips and be a fool. Proverbs 19:1, CEB
The last few days we’ve discussed secrets. Let’s take the opposite angle.
How vulnerable are you really? Do you share the deepest and darkest?
Brittany and I were recently in Kansas City. We were driving through town and admiring what a beautiful city it was after meeting up with some friends of mine who now live nearby. We were talking about how much we loved those particular friends and then started discussing why it’s easier to spend time with some people than others. Brittany, in a moment of great vulnerability, shared some incredibly honest insights about why she has a harder time hanging out with some friends than others. These insights had to do with her insecurities, rather than anything to do with the other people, but I imagine they were very difficult to voice, even to her spouse.
Vulnerability takes many forms. And there are various levels of vulnerability. I’ve found that, occasionally, something that I admit sounds vulnerable to someone else (because it’s not the type of thing they would admit), but it wasn’t really tough for me to say. The same is true in the reverse as well. There have been times when it has struck me how vulnerable another person is being at a time when they don’t feel they’re sharing anything that is that big of a deal.
What’s vulnerable to you may not be vulnerable to another person and vice versa. There’s a temptation that comes with that. It means that we can hide if we know we can sound vulnerable even as we hold something back. It is our responsibility to hold ourselves accountable in thoroughly sharing our shortcomings. We can get help in this, of course, by having our friends routinely ask us for that “final 10%” that we might be holding back, but they’ll never know if we don’t share it. So, it’s an integrity thing. More on this tomorrow.
Food for thought: What kinds of things do you hold back from sharing about yourself?