46 If you love only those who love you, what reward do you have? Don’t even the tax collectors do the same? 47 And if you greet only your brothers and sisters, what more are you doing? Don’t even the Gentiles do the same? 48 Therefore, just as your heavenly Father is complete in showing love to everyone, so also you must be complete. Matthew 5:46-48, CEB
What does it really mean to be holy?
Yesterday I challenged us to consider whether or not we’re completely loving by asking us to consider how we handle conflict. Do we flee? Or do we stay and seek resolution and reconciliation?
In real life, this isn’t clear cut. We can’t simply say that “staying” is always the answer and that “running” is always a bad idea. There are always multiple factors to weigh. We have to consider the physical safety of ourselves and our children. We have to consider whether or not the other person is truly seeking a solution or if they’re simply trying to force us into passive submission. Are we both truly seeking reconciliation? Or are we playing two different games?
When it comes to faith, above all else, we have to learn how to be discerning. There are no easy answers in life. There’s no easy way to describe what it looks like to love completely and thoroughly in every situation. But we do need to ask ourselves if we’re really trying. Do we really care about reconciliation? Are we just going through the motions?
These are important questions because they indicate whether or not we are truly loving the other person. At times, we can love a spouse well even as we take our children to safety. Other times, we’re simply “sticking it” to our spouse when we leave and take the kids with us. Every situation is different.
When you are confronted with a tough choice, though, make sure to ask yourself if you’re really considering the other person, or if you’re really just trying to find the best outcome for you.