Day 23

3 “Happy are people who are hopeless, because the kingdom of heaven is theirs.  4 “Happy are people who grieve, because they will be made glad.  5 “Happy are people who are humble, because they will inherit the earth.  6 “Happy are people who are hungry and thirsty for righteousness, because they will be fed until they are full.  7 “Happy are people who show mercy, because they will receive mercy.  8 “Happy are people who have pure hearts, because they will see God.  9 “Happy are people who make peace, because they will be called God’s children.  Matthew 5:3-9, CEB

A couple days ago I introduced the term “the hedonic treadmill” to our devotional conversation.  If you didn’t catch that one, try to read it before you read this one.  If you don’t have time for that, the hedonic treadmill is basically the process of thinking that something is going to make us truly happy, only to find that it disappoints us in the long run.  We replace that thing with something else and we perpetually cycle through these emotions.  Got it?

I find that there are some things that have the potential to bring long-lasting joy in life.  I have found marriage to be one of those things.  I can’t tell you how many people told me that marriage wouldn’t solve my problems, marriage wouldn’t make me happy, and marriage wouldn’t end my loneliness.  The thing I always wanted to say back was, “I don’t really expect it to.”  I have found someone who shares my vision for life and we have found community together in the marriage relationship and that brings a certain kind of happiness/joy that I didn’t have before.  It hasn’t solved all my problems, in fact it’s created a bunch of new ones, but that doesn’t take away from the happiness I’ve found there.  I know that isn’t true for everyone, but I use this as one example of saying that there legitimately are things out there that increase our happiness or joy factor.  Not everything is just a “hedonic treadmill” waiting to happen.   I’ve spent a lot of time looking for the next best thing.  Giving up the hedonic treadmill is not the same thing as giving up hope for happiness.

We can have lasting meaningful friendships that bring happiness, as long as we realize that people are never perfect.  Lasting marriages with imperfect people are also possible (with enough communication, work, dedication, and community, oh yeah, and maybe some spiritual disciplines).  We can even be happy with a house.  Just as long as we know that it’s not the things themselves that create happiness.  It’s the desire to be satisfied and to recognize everything’s proper place in our lives.

We’ve surrendered all things to God, we’re powerless, and we live under his control and guidance.  When we live by this framework day-in and day-out, then we can find happiness in many areas of life without running on a hedonic treadmill.